The Criminal refuses to rule out military action to seize Greenland

Did I mention that he's out of his mind? Oh, Donald Trump is definitely out of his mind, there's simply no question on that one. The only argument you could make against it might be that Actually, he was already so ravaged by multiple untreated mental illnesses ten years ago that the public behavioral changes we're seeing now are only because daughter Ivanka and other allies are no longer around to soothe him when he threatens to voice his worst instincts out loud. That seems a less likely scenario, though. If Emperor Dementia here wanted to annex Canada during his first term, we would have heard of it. We didn't.

No, what we're now seeing from The Criminal is most commonly referred to in non-medical terms as spiraling.

The Criminal held a news conference today, and you can bet your ass no newspaper will go with the most obvious headlines, things like President Elect shows clear signs of mental illness or Trump aides remain silent as president elect's behavior becomes more erratic. No, they're all going to pretend there's nothing to see here, because the same people who own the newspapers also own medical patents and private space programs and will continue to cover for The Criminal until the day he finally chokes to death on his own spit if it means more cash in their own fat wallets.

Here's what The Criminal was going on about. I invite you all to come up with any scenario that fits what we're seeing more than "spiraling narcissist loses grip on reality, obsesses over more and more grandiose fantasies in last-ditch effort to become the god-king he always imagined himself to be."

That would be The Criminal refusing to rule out seizing Greenland and/or Panama through military force. Now, it is safe to say that preferred international policies differ, among the scant handful of obnoxious gadflies who are allowed to have any such opinions at all, but The Criminal's obsession with annexing Greenland remains, ahem, unique. At no point in the recent past have even the most military-minded nation-building send-your-children-to-die-for-my-essay-idea assholes piped up with "and we should go to war with Denmark to capture Greenland."

What. The. Fuck. Also, the man continues to looks and sound terrible, compared to even the version we could see 6 months ago. Don't expect the media to devote entire frontpages to that revelation either.

Trump briefly floated the idea of purchasing Greenland near the end of his first term, back before he attempted a coup against the government and was somehow not thrown in prison for it even though multiple people died. He may have originally come up with the idea of buying Greenland after falling down the stairs and hitting his head good and hard; we don't know. But the idea of taking military action against Denmark would have been, everyone would have agreed back before our billionaire class decided to become The Criminal's most obliging intestinal parasites, batshit crazy—evidence that the man's cheese had slid off his cracker.

It still is that, but now the papers and the people on television are going to hump Donald's little fascist fantasy so that he will praise them, and they will try to sell this as not the batshit crazy idea of a violence-prone madman but another episode of nation-building; Denmark refuses to part with their resources, so now they are our enemies. They made fun of Donald, too, which also makes them terrorists.

The good people of Canada will be glad to know that Emperor Dementia still intends to force their own country into becoming the 51st of the United States with "economic force" rather than, so far, with a bombing campaign.

"Economic force" is an interesting turn of phrase. The usual one is "economic pressure," an attempt to coax a targeted country into changing policies by making it economically disadvantageous for it to keep the old ones. Economic force implies something more, well, forceful. That Canada doesn't have a choice in this; they will become an American state, because this poof-haired rambling wanker got it into his head that he wants to die a conquering hero and get his rapidly decaying visage carved onto a mountain somewhere.

As one might imagine, the people of Canada are nonplussed about this.

But we are getting a solid introduction into what every day of the supposed second "Trump administration" will look like. It will look like a fragile narcissist's silliest hourly brainfart, at least three times a day and more when the rain makes wandering a golf course too unpleasant, and this will continue for as long as the man's most devoted aides can cover up his damaged mental state and Weekend At Bernie's him through his daily routine.

It is a Tuesday, and on every upcoming Tuesday for the next four years we can presumably expect things like this: The Criminal announcing that he intends to change every map and globe in America to cross out "Mexico" and put "America" in that blue spot just to the south.

This idea will do exactly fuck-all for anyone, anywhere, and is the sort of thing that you would get if you elected a monster truck to office. The grand sum of people who like this idea is estimated to be "anyone whose breath already smells like beer at 9am in the morning." He may have gotten the idea during one of his wide-ranging policy discussions with Elon Musk's toddler, and that toddler is likely to be put in charge of a new Middle East peace plan now that Jared Kushner's taken his billion-dollar bribe and run off somewhere.

So on day one of this twit's rambling return, we're going to see a return of that NOAA hurricane map, the one he drew over with a Sharpie to show that the forecasters were wrong and that he is the decider of where hurricanes go, except this time he'll have written "AMERCIA" in big scrawled letters and anyone who remembers that it used to be called the Gulf of Mexico will be declared an enemy of the state.

Is the man unfit for office? The billionaires say no, and since the billionaires are in charge of what most Americans see and what's hidden from them it's the billionaire take that matters, not any of ours. If being led into multiple wars and economic collapses by a very angry cartoon is what will get them their tax cuts, they will abide.

What the rest of the world thinks about this, and how they choose to respond, may be less predictable.